Aha! Moment Monday
Years ago, when I was a teen, I remember being in a shopping mall sitting on a bench having a soda and taking a break. A couple of girls next to me were chatting and I didn’t realize they were getting up their nerve, but eventually one turned me and asked if she could have a quarter to use the phone and call for a ride home (admittedly this was long before personal cell phones).
I hesitated, then thought perhaps it was rather irresponsible of them to leave themselves that short in change that they couldn’t afford to call for a ride and denied their request. I went home and told my mom and she said, “Why didn’t you just give them the money?” Instantly I felt horrible because the truth is, at the time part of me felt compelled to hand over some change yet for some reason I stopped myself, like it was more important to teach them a lesson or something.
The fact that I am sharing this story is an indicator that I still replay the scenario in my mind with some level of regret. Of course, I cannot turn the clocks back to choose differently and I do hope the girls got home safely but suffice to say I questioned why I felt opposed in being mildly generous.
People close to me point out that I have a tendency to over-think things. Sometimes it is a weakness, other times, like in this case, a strength. Doing some digging I learned that the head and the heart decide differently, like you are of two minds, and the heart goes first. In fact, its 40,000 neurons do more than orchestrate blood pumping. The heart is a complex data processing station dedicating 90% of its energy to sending info to the brain.
Here’s the tricky part as explained by Dawna Jones in a post entitled, The Link Between Your Heart and Head in Decision-Making.
“When you are emotional or upset (frustrated, overwhelmed, and so on), the heart rhythms have a disordered pattern, which affects many important higher brain functions such as decision-making. The distorted signals that occur when you are feeling angry, upset, unhappy, or any other negative emotion impair your cognitive functioning and access to intuition. Conversely, when your heart is in a state of coherence – that is, when you are in a happy, calm or peaceful state – your cognitive functions, including access to your intuition, are optimized.”
You see, I could regret my choice to not have been generous with a quarter or realize that at that time in my life, I was struggling with my own being and my judgement was impaired.
Aha! ~ You are always a better person to others when you are first better to yourself.
“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” – Steve Maraboli
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